Found this news clipping while ferreting in the archives, tacked to a memo forwarded onto the Home Office — clearly some British colonial had found it as hysterical as I did. Roughly translated from Chinese.
THE CHINESE CREDO
28th April 1932
- That the Chinese Civilization is superior to that of the West, because it is spiritualistic.
- That the Chinese have always been a peace-loving people.
- That the Westerners all worship the almighty dollar, but the Chinese people are so idealistically minded that money is the least of their worries.
- That the only thing that we need learn from the Occident is technology. In other words, the best things that the West can offer are: automobiles, motion pictures and refrigerators.
- That the Chinese civilization is great because of the fact that of all the ancient civilizations (Greek, Egyptian, Chaldean, Assyrian, Mayan) it is the only one that exists today.
- That Herr Spengler and Count Keyserling have conclusively proven that the Western civilization is bound to fall and will soon give way to the Chinese.
- That Japan for instance would not be where she is today, had it not been for the fact that she had learned everything from us.
- That the teachings of Confucius surpass those of Jesus Christ, Buddha, Plato, St. Thomas Aquinas, Kant and Karl Marx put together.
- That the Chinese language is the best on earth, because it is the hardest to learn and has the greatest number of characters and tones.
- That Chinese medicine is not necessarily inferior to that of the foreign countries. Or, to put it in a different way, the physiological structure (体气 tiqi) of the Chinese is so different from that of the Westerners that “foreign” medicine can hardly be applicable to us.
- That of all the peoples we are the politest.
- That we are the most honest people and “our words are our bond”.
- That although we may have corrupt officials in our midst, the Western countries are not free from them either, hence we are quits.
- That the fundamental trouble with China is that we lack a genuine leader.
- That if the Three Principles of the People (三民主义 sanmin zhuyi) were really put into effect, China would become a first class power.
- That the present chaotic condition constitutes only a transitional phase of our history.
- That China has a glorious past as well as a brilliant future.
- That we have a population of 450,000,000.
I am especially fond of the indignance of #11, and the impeccable logic of #13 and #4. And the fierce pride of #9. And the condescension of #7. And the randomness of #18. And all of it, really.